Is there more to you than the overweight body that you feel trapped in…? This article from Carryn Smart shows how important it is to build habits, so that you can become the person you know you are.
About 8 months ago I attended “the Secret to Success” workshop, held in Durban, with Brian Walsh. Brian is the founder of an organization called Entrepreneur.co.za. He made a statement that day that I absolutely love, in fact, it has become my mantra. Brian said “It’s not what you have to do to become successful, but it’s who you have to become”.
So who am I? I am a wife to an amazing husband, I am the mother of the two most beautiful girls in the world (okay, I am slightly biased). I am also someone who has struggled with weight most of my life. I have tipped the scale at both ends. I have felt the shallow emptiness of being borderline anorexic and I am also familiar with the dark heaviness of being considerably overweight.
Over the past 18 months I have been on the most exciting journey of self-discovery, which resulted in me loosing an initial 8kgs. Then more recently (last 6-8 months) my journey continued, this time with a little more intensity, fear and excitement all rolled into one. The results of that journey have completely blown me away. Not only did I loose a further 16kgs, but discovering who I really am has completely revolutionized the way I think and interact with people and the world around me. I am so passionate about helping others discover who they really are, that I have left my conventional career to devote my time and energy into assisting others to break their bondage with the “fat-trap” and step into a new world.
In Brian’s statement he mentions “it’s about who you have to become”. What did that mean for me? In my case, it’s was not all about the diet that I needed to go on or how many times a week I needed to go to the gym. I am not saying those things didn’t help. Without a doubt the exercise and diet I followed certainly got me results. But what I am saying, is that in order for my results to last and in order for them to have made a real impact in my life, it was important that I discovered who I was in this process. It was important that I understood why I behaved in certain ways. I needed to learn how to recognize the various emotional patterns in my life, and how to react differently to those triggers.
My question to you, is do you really know who you are? Often we are so engrossed with who we think we ought to be, that we lose sight of our true identity. There are multiple reasons for this. We could blame our pasts, our husbands, wives, bosses, the media……and the list goes on.
As human beings we are constantly comparing ourselves to others. To any men reading this article, this is not just a “female thing”. Men do it too, you compare cars; golf clubs; boats; positions/titles in companies; bodies in the gym……. come on, be honest. You do!
Ladies, I know that you will understand what I am taking about. If you are completely honest, you will admit that we compare ourselves with each other all- the- time :- our clothes, our hair, our kid’s behavior, kid’s school marks, who looks thinner, who is fitter, who appears more successful; who entertains the best, who cooks the best etc…
WE ALL DO IT. We compare ourselves with others and then when we don’t measure up to our perceived standards we get disappointed in ourselves. We tell ourselves we are not good enough, we tell ourselves we have failed in some way. The thing is, if we do this long enough we end up feeling like a failure in many areas of our lives. When we constantly put ourselves down and desire to be like other people, we loose sight of who we really are. We loose our identity. This makes it very difficult to love ourselves. You cannot love what you don’t know.
Who of you, can truly say they know themselves? Who of you knows:
- Why you react the way you do to the circumstances around you?
- Why certain things trigger emotions for you, whilst other things don’t?
- Why you are in the current job you are in?
- Why you are perhaps unemployed?
- Why you say yes when you want to say no?
- Why you eat the things you do?
- Why you never achieve your goals?
- Why you reach for that piece of cake when you are on diet?
- Why you continuously break promises to yourself?
When you start to unpack some of these questions, figure out what motivates you and discover the hidden treasures inside of yourself, then and only then, do you start to really know who you are. Only then, can you begin to discover how to love yourself. I don’t mean in a conceited way, I am talking about full blown acceptance of your self. This does not mean you will be perfect. It means respecting, honoring and loving yourself with all your imperfections, and yes it IS possible. I am living proof of that.
Reflecting back over my journey, I realize that at the time, somewhere deep inside I knew that there was a lot more to me than the overweight body I was trapped in. But trapped I was. Almost every thought was consumed by my weight. I was even self conscious of the way I sat in a chair. I would make sure I always crossed my legs so that they did not spread out more than necessary, grossly exposing my thighs, which often betrayed me. Not only did my thighs betray me but my stomach too.
I remember wondering if there was perhaps a secret switch hidden in the cheeks of my buttocks and upon sitting the switch was activated and it felt like someone had suddenly inflated one of those toddler swimming rings around my torso. There was a large one that would cling and wrap itself (un)comfortably around the top of my jeans. There was another one higher up that provided an arm rest whenever if I needed one. (I mean who needs an arm rest under their breasts?).
Every day was filled with some level of dread, anger, depression and frustration at the body that was fast betraying me. Every pair of jeans/pants, every shirt seemed to have a personal vendetta against me. I could not wear dresses and skirts because the tops of my thighs would clap together in glee when I walked. I could almost hear them say “Aah ha we’ve got you trapped – we have you now”.
Every activity with my kids was a cruel reminder of how unfit I was, or how fat, ugly and useless I felt. As for family photo’s from this time in my life… they don’t exist. Well that is not entirely true, they do exist, just without me in them. Anyone, (namely my poor husband), who took these family photos, was under great threat and could only take the picture with me in it, if my kids were standing in front of me or only if it showed me from the shoulders up.
Ironically that was the part of my body where most of my “fat” was trapped…. in my brain, lodged somewhere between “logic” and “reason”, oh and “self respect”. I totally lost my identity. It was consumed by my “fat” thoughts.
Would I ever find the real me? Would the real me ever be set free?
In my journey I discovered there was so much more to me than the body and mind I was trapped in. I discovered how liberating it was to break free; to finally be me; to know me; to love me.
Very few of us invest the time and energy into knowing ourselves better and making the necessary changes to achieve our goals. We make all sorts of excuses about not having the time or money to invest in ourselves. It is this very mindset that keeps us imprisoned.
- Do you feel like there is more to you than what is on the outside?
- Can you see the heart of who you really are?
- Is it your desire to break free?
- Are you ready?
If you no longer want to be a prisoner in your own body and would like someone to walk this journey with you, then don’t delay. Send me an email today so that we can start the process of unlocking and releasing the REAL you. Do it “The Smart Weigh!” with Juiced
Carryn Smart
Juiced Strategies Coach
Now at http://www.catalystcoaching.co/blog/
